a hard life

He did a good job previous life, so he could choose what kind of life the next one would be.

"I want a very difficult life, next one.

One where I would be very confused about who I am, what is my purpose and what should I do.

I want to have people around me posing as friends but be otherwise.

I want to have my life organized about the others so it is difficult to find my own path.

In this way, I am sure I will learn a lot and I will come stronger."

His journey started. He was born as the son of one of the richest people on earth.

the prayer

I used to pray day and night.

Every little second I was thinking of you and I was longing for you and praying.

My prayers were pure prayers: I wanted to know you, I wanted to have you in my life, to have you close.

Day after day, I prayed.

In the morning, at noon and before going to sleep, I prayed.

My life eventually passed and I got to meet you after all.

"What did I do wrong, that you never answered my prayers?" I asked.

"I tried", you said, "but your mind was always working, I could not find a moment of silence to come near you, to talk to you, to give you what you were asking for..."

photo credits

two horses...

... were pulling a heavy wagon full of grains.

One was happy, one was very unhappy.

"What's the matter", the first asked.

"What do you mean?!? We are both pulling this heavy wagons every day. Day after day, sweating for these human beings. The sun is burning our skin and the flies are biting us day and night.

And if now is bad, wait until we get into the autumn and the path will become muddy and the rain will become a daily event.

This life is a miserable one and I wish I died tomorrow... I have no idea how you keep smiling all day long. You have probably lost if from this hard work."

"Well, you might be right. I kind of lost it as I don't know what you are talking about.

It is true we are pulling this heavy wagon, but it is full of grains and part of them will be our daily food now and all through the winter when we'll spend long days without any work.

Also these grains are providing food for the family of our master and for many more. Because of us, lots if people will have what to eat and they will work hard on the fields so we have what to eat and drink as well.

When we get home, our master is calling his children to clean us and play with us. They sometime ride us and their laughs is music in my ears.

Also before going to sleep, our master always come over and checks on us: if we had enough food, water. He is even cleaning after us.

He speaks nice words to us, plays on his flute sometime.

His love for us is so precious that the least I can do is to help him feed his kids and see them grow happy and healthy..."

When I created you...

... I put inside your heart a piece of me. It is an ocean of love in the tiny space of your heart so you have enough to distribute it to the world.

When you come back to me, that is how I am going to see if you did a good job or not, depending on how much of that love you distributed around.

Spread it around and your life will be a beautiful and joyous one.

Keep it to yourself and your life will be miserable and you would have lived in vain...

photo by Romel

The leaf

A leaf was born and for a while all was perfect. Sun rays were falling all day long, the tree was feeding her whenever she needed.

But soon many leaves were born of the tree and our leaf was not that happy anymore. The sun light needed to be shared now and also the food was distributed among maybe others so, while enough, was not plenty like before.

So the leaf started complying:

"Why I am not on the top of the tree? Why do I have to share the light with others? I am a special leaf, I was here first and I should be offered special attention.

Also why do I need the tree? There is nothing special about it. I am the one that nicely moves in the wind and gives the tree its beauty.

I wish I could detach myself from the tree and from all the other useless leaves. Then everybody will see how special I am."

She asked a bird that had the nest in a tree: "I beg of you, please pull me out of the tree and give me the freedom!"

The bird listed to the request and pulled the little leaf and let it be. She travelled for few minutes on the wind but quickly fell on the ground. A rain started and the ground was full of mud. Also lots of people and animals travelled through the area and stepped on it.

The leaf was now even more unhappy: "Only if the people would pay more attention, they will notice what a special leaf I am..."

photo by Anne Davis

he is, she is

He is not smart
She is talking too much
He is too short
She is too tall
He is too thin
She is too fat
He is showing off
She is too quiet

So how was your today? my lord asks me.

Not good, said I.

I wasted yet another day.

Image by Kristina Alexanderson

The cages

Like a mad man, I tried to break the cages around me. Thick, metallic bars are all over.

I push them, I hit them, I throw my body against them.

But in vain. I am hurt, my hands are scratched with blood dripping from my fingers.

Now I am tired. I try no more.

But I realize. As you created me, you created the cages as well. I don't understand why, but I am sure you had a reason.

I abandon my cages, I abandon my life, my thoughts, myself. I give it all to you...

Like magic, the cages disappear, one after another, they dissolve into thin air. So does the pain.

So do I. I am back into the ocean where I started from. I am back to you.

Being back feels so good... and that is only because of the cages.

Photo by John Dalkin

Mount Kailash

Day after day, week after week, the life is passing in total confusion.

Why this, why that? - I ask at every turn. There is no logic whatsoever, no meaning in all this.

Beauty and ugliness, happiness and sorrow, gain and loss, where is this taking me? - I wonder.

So the years pass and so the life does.

Now I am sitting here tired, almost exhausted and I look ahead and I see, not far away, the peak of the mountain Kailash.

I wanted it and longed for it but in my confusion I did not know where it was nor how I could reach it.

And then I look back and I see my life’s long passed events and the zigzagged trail I followed in my confusion and I notice that at each turn I was unknowingly closer to the peak.

And then I see You in front of me showing me the way, pulling my hand without my knowing. In the time of despair I see you behind me helping and pushing me. In the time when I was down I see you carrying me in your arms.

I fold my palms thanking you…

my heart

My lord, how is it that, even if I have everything, I am not happy?

The answer is simple: you are not using the gifts I have bestowed upon you.

What is the gift are you talking about, my lord?

I have gifted you the heart and you are not using it as it should used.

But I did used it to love my parents, my brothers and sisters.

That is true, but not enough.

I love my wife and my children.

A bit better, but still the heart is mostly unused.

My country I love and I try to help the people here.

Yes, that is good. But you know the country is only what people created. God never created countries.

Then teach me how I can use my heart, I beg of you!

I cannot teach you, nor anybody can as it is nothing to be taught.

The heart and the love that flows from is nothing of your doing. I have gifted it to you but it does not belong to you. It is just a fountain through which I can be known in the world. Through your heart and through all the hearts of all the people in the world, I am sending My love.

Lord, then I am offering you my heart. I am offering you my being, I am offering you myself.

Silence came then and my heart became a fountain of divine love, flowing, spreading, reaching everybody. People drenched in it became messengers of the same love.

And then there was nothing left of me that belonged to me.

And then I was happy...



Art by Julie Jensen

beauty is really inside?

Beauty is to be found inside, they say.

Is it?

I looked outside and I saw:

A leaf, a flower, a tree
A field, a hill and a mountain
The wind, the rain and the snow
A cat, a tiger and a lion
A butterfly, a dragonfly, an eagle
Heard the sound of a drum, the music of a piano
The laughter of a child
The smile of his mother looking at him

I looked inside and I saw a river of thoughts
Envy and jealousy and wish for riches
Longing to be appreciated and to be praised
Desire to gossip and many the same

So, I am sticking with the outside for now.

The Voice

I was never good at singing, so I never sang when others could listen.

I loved music though and I envied the singers.

When I met you and you asked me to sing, I was so ashamed, as my voice was not fit for a regular human being, let alone for a king.

You insisted and I sang and true enough I did not sing well.

But you called my brother and asked him to sing.

And he did but his voice, even if way better than mine was not good enough either.

Then you called a sister and another brother and many others and you ask each of them to sing.

Some better, some worse, their voices were not as you would deserve.

Then you did something unexpected: you asked us to sing together.

And we did.

And the result was divine.

And I was not ashamed anymore as I understood.

While we are singing out of tune when alone, we are great together.

And maybe we are not really singing.

Maybe you are?!?

life

Birth
Education
Disintegration
Confusion
Pain

Seeking
Trying
Struggling
Pain

Stretching
Fasting
Pain

Not finding
Not believing
Pain

Not seeking
Renouncing
Praying
Grace
Awakening

Understanding
Accepting
Cleaning
Joy
Loving
More joy
More love
Only joy
Only love

I am what I am

Some say I am not good, regular and maybe not even
But I don't feel bad, nor good, nor proud
I am what I am
A traveller to the peak of the mountain

Some say I am special and look up to me
But I don't feel bad, nor good, nor proud
I am what I am
A traveller to the peak of the mountain

Some ignore me and turn around when I come
But I don't feel bad, nor good, nor proud
I am what I am
A traveller to the peak of the mountain

Some help me and love me and push me ahead
I thank them
But I don't feel bad, nor good, nor proud
I am what I am
A traveller to the peak of the mountain

Some rely on me and their life depends on me
And their trip depends on me
But I don't feel bad, nor good, nor proud
I am what I am
A traveller to the peak of the mountain

Manning Park, BC, 2014